Email #2 sent out

Dear Friends,

I have lost my baby at 18 weeks pregnant. This is devastating news since most of you know we have undergone 2 years of unexplained infertility and finally got pregnant after the 5th IUI (artificial insemination.) To recap for those who are in the dark about all of this... 3 days ago I got a call from my doctor that my 2nd trimester blood screen/test came back with some indicators of chromosomal abnormalities- specifically Trisomy 18. Basically, with the levels that came back along with my age, my baby was given a 1 in 3 chance of having Trisomy 18. Trisomy 18 is a genetic disorder in which a person has a 3rd copy of genetic material from chromosome 18, instead of the usual 2 copies. Generally speaking, life is not compatible with this genetic defect. Most babies die in the womb and those who make it to birth usually die within the first few hours or days. Few make it past a year old. Fortunately, this is not something that Bob or I carry- it is a random and very sad thing that just happens from time to time- something completely outside of our control.

At first we were trying to be optimistic because that meant that we had a 2 in 3 chance of the baby being normal. We had an appointment scheduled for this next Monday with the high risk specialists for an in depth ultrasound and amniocentesis. However, for my own piece of mind, I made an appointment for today with my regular doctor to just go in and see if there is even a heartbeat. If there was not, then we would take a new course of action. Well, I went in this morning and indeed there was no heartbeat. I was able to get an appointment with the specialists for an amniocentesis today and an ultrasound. The ultrasound concluded that the baby has been dead for at least a week. The amniocentesis will definitively tell us about the chromosomal issues that our baby had. We will find all that out in a couple of weeks.

After I found out the initial news about the abnormality, my prayer to God was that if the baby indeed had Trisomy 18, that He would just take the baby early. I could not imagine the emotional strain of carrying and possibly even birthing a baby that was guaranteed to die right away. I am so grateful for His grace in that way. Of course, I am devastated at the loss of this little life I had painfully waited so long for. It has been an emotional roller coaster the past 3 days. I am very confused as to why God would allow this to happen. But at the same time, I can not help but cherish my husband and my healthy 3 year old even more. I am lucky to have them. I just have to trust God with my life and the life of any future children.

We are also so grateful for the outpouring of encouragement, prayers, and support from so many of you. Though we do not have family in the area, we do feel like we indeed have family here in our friends. You all are such a blessing to us. I thank God for you all! My mom is going to fly out tomorrow morning and so she will be here for a week- a wonderful support and an excellent distraction for Mattie.

Much love to you all. Again, we cherish our friendship with you all. Having your love and friendship and support will be a big part of making it through this tough time.

Love,
Val, Bob, and Mattie Brown