Wednesday, November 17, 2010
D and E Day
Tuesday, the 16th, I had my D & E where they remove the baby. They put me under for this. I had to show up to the hospital 2 hours early- like showing up for a flight or something. I checked in. There were lots of people waiting for surgury. It was a busy day there. It was what you might envision on TV in an emergency room or something- lots of people on rolling beds lined up with curtains between each person. Fortunately for me I got a corner spot so I was out of the way of most of the foot traffic. I was issued a very nice nurse. Bob could hang out with me for a while and then he had to leave. For the most part I was in OK spirits. The chaplain came by. He prayed with me. I was thankful for that. They had some difficulty getting the IV in me (I seem to have issues with IV's). It was at that time for some reason I got sad. The reality of why I was there sank in and I was just sad I had to be there for that reason- my baby died. I didn't want to have to say goodbye for good even though she had been gone for a while. The nurse shared with me that she lost a son in the 3rd trimester (I think) and she still thinks about him almost every day. That was 30 years ago. My procedure was scheduled for around 11:00 and they were pretty much right on time. The rolled me into the OR. I got sad again. The last time I was in an OR I was having Mattie- one of the happiest moments of my life. Hearing her cries was one of the most beautiful sounds I have ever heard. I would not be hearing anything this time. They transferred me to the operating table. The nurse started sticking some probe things on me. And then the anesthesiologist started talking to me... he said, "It's going to feel a bit cold," referring to the drugs that were going into my IV. And literally I don't remember anything after that. The next thing I knew I was in the recovery area- another big room with lots of people separated by curtains. It was really weird. I don't remember getting sleepy or anything. They give you this drug that makes you forget. I wish I could forget more. My recovery was easy. I did not even feel tired the rest of the day. I wish the emotional recovery was as easy.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
God shows up in so many ways!
All the ways God has “showed up” during this process…
• Running into Carol in the mall just before the phone call from the doctor
• Already having a babysitter lined up for dinner the day we got the news (even if it was for Bob’s birthday) so we could have a peaceful meal together and talk
• Coffee with John scheduled two weeks prior that happened to fall the day after we got the news of the potential problem with the baby.
• Time with the Beltons Thursday evening and an opportunity to talk to Steve.
• My appointment with Dr. Rosenburg Friday morning- that I insisted on being able to have the opportunity to hear the heartbeat or not.
• Being able to get into Obsetrix that same day and finding out later from Dr. Belton that the doctor we got was a Believer.
• For Carol bringing over a meal Thursday evening.
• For Christa and Sara. Christa watched Mattie all Friday morning until noon while I was at Dr. Rosenburg’s and then Sara watched Mattie from noon until 7PM that night while I was at Obstetrix and also allowing Bob and I to have some quiet at home after the appointment and to go out to a quiet dinner together.
• For Dale and Ann providing my mom with a standby ticket to come down here Saturday morning.
• For a visit from the Beltons on Saturday afternoon.
• For my mom to be able to be here for a whole week.
• Running into the doctor coming out of the elevator on our way in at Obstetrix after our pre-op appointment.
• The pharmacist probably a believer.
• The chaplain praying with me today in the hospital
• Running into Carol in the mall just before the phone call from the doctor
• Already having a babysitter lined up for dinner the day we got the news (even if it was for Bob’s birthday) so we could have a peaceful meal together and talk
• Coffee with John scheduled two weeks prior that happened to fall the day after we got the news of the potential problem with the baby.
• Time with the Beltons Thursday evening and an opportunity to talk to Steve.
• My appointment with Dr. Rosenburg Friday morning- that I insisted on being able to have the opportunity to hear the heartbeat or not.
• Being able to get into Obsetrix that same day and finding out later from Dr. Belton that the doctor we got was a Believer.
• For Carol bringing over a meal Thursday evening.
• For Christa and Sara. Christa watched Mattie all Friday morning until noon while I was at Dr. Rosenburg’s and then Sara watched Mattie from noon until 7PM that night while I was at Obstetrix and also allowing Bob and I to have some quiet at home after the appointment and to go out to a quiet dinner together.
• For Dale and Ann providing my mom with a standby ticket to come down here Saturday morning.
• For a visit from the Beltons on Saturday afternoon.
• For my mom to be able to be here for a whole week.
• Running into the doctor coming out of the elevator on our way in at Obstetrix after our pre-op appointment.
• The pharmacist probably a believer.
• The chaplain praying with me today in the hospital
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Email #2 sent out
Dear Friends,
I have lost my baby at 18 weeks pregnant. This is devastating news since most of you know we have undergone 2 years of unexplained infertility and finally got pregnant after the 5th IUI (artificial insemination.) To recap for those who are in the dark about all of this... 3 days ago I got a call from my doctor that my 2nd trimester blood screen/test came back with some indicators of chromosomal abnormalities- specifically Trisomy 18. Basically, with the levels that came back along with my age, my baby was given a 1 in 3 chance of having Trisomy 18. Trisomy 18 is a genetic disorder in which a person has a 3rd copy of genetic material from chromosome 18, instead of the usual 2 copies. Generally speaking, life is not compatible with this genetic defect. Most babies die in the womb and those who make it to birth usually die within the first few hours or days. Few make it past a year old. Fortunately, this is not something that Bob or I carry- it is a random and very sad thing that just happens from time to time- something completely outside of our control.
At first we were trying to be optimistic because that meant that we had a 2 in 3 chance of the baby being normal. We had an appointment scheduled for this next Monday with the high risk specialists for an in depth ultrasound and amniocentesis. However, for my own piece of mind, I made an appointment for today with my regular doctor to just go in and see if there is even a heartbeat. If there was not, then we would take a new course of action. Well, I went in this morning and indeed there was no heartbeat. I was able to get an appointment with the specialists for an amniocentesis today and an ultrasound. The ultrasound concluded that the baby has been dead for at least a week. The amniocentesis will definitively tell us about the chromosomal issues that our baby had. We will find all that out in a couple of weeks.
After I found out the initial news about the abnormality, my prayer to God was that if the baby indeed had Trisomy 18, that He would just take the baby early. I could not imagine the emotional strain of carrying and possibly even birthing a baby that was guaranteed to die right away. I am so grateful for His grace in that way. Of course, I am devastated at the loss of this little life I had painfully waited so long for. It has been an emotional roller coaster the past 3 days. I am very confused as to why God would allow this to happen. But at the same time, I can not help but cherish my husband and my healthy 3 year old even more. I am lucky to have them. I just have to trust God with my life and the life of any future children.
We are also so grateful for the outpouring of encouragement, prayers, and support from so many of you. Though we do not have family in the area, we do feel like we indeed have family here in our friends. You all are such a blessing to us. I thank God for you all! My mom is going to fly out tomorrow morning and so she will be here for a week- a wonderful support and an excellent distraction for Mattie.
Much love to you all. Again, we cherish our friendship with you all. Having your love and friendship and support will be a big part of making it through this tough time.
Love,
Val, Bob, and Mattie Brown
I have lost my baby at 18 weeks pregnant. This is devastating news since most of you know we have undergone 2 years of unexplained infertility and finally got pregnant after the 5th IUI (artificial insemination.) To recap for those who are in the dark about all of this... 3 days ago I got a call from my doctor that my 2nd trimester blood screen/test came back with some indicators of chromosomal abnormalities- specifically Trisomy 18. Basically, with the levels that came back along with my age, my baby was given a 1 in 3 chance of having Trisomy 18. Trisomy 18 is a genetic disorder in which a person has a 3rd copy of genetic material from chromosome 18, instead of the usual 2 copies. Generally speaking, life is not compatible with this genetic defect. Most babies die in the womb and those who make it to birth usually die within the first few hours or days. Few make it past a year old. Fortunately, this is not something that Bob or I carry- it is a random and very sad thing that just happens from time to time- something completely outside of our control.
At first we were trying to be optimistic because that meant that we had a 2 in 3 chance of the baby being normal. We had an appointment scheduled for this next Monday with the high risk specialists for an in depth ultrasound and amniocentesis. However, for my own piece of mind, I made an appointment for today with my regular doctor to just go in and see if there is even a heartbeat. If there was not, then we would take a new course of action. Well, I went in this morning and indeed there was no heartbeat. I was able to get an appointment with the specialists for an amniocentesis today and an ultrasound. The ultrasound concluded that the baby has been dead for at least a week. The amniocentesis will definitively tell us about the chromosomal issues that our baby had. We will find all that out in a couple of weeks.
After I found out the initial news about the abnormality, my prayer to God was that if the baby indeed had Trisomy 18, that He would just take the baby early. I could not imagine the emotional strain of carrying and possibly even birthing a baby that was guaranteed to die right away. I am so grateful for His grace in that way. Of course, I am devastated at the loss of this little life I had painfully waited so long for. It has been an emotional roller coaster the past 3 days. I am very confused as to why God would allow this to happen. But at the same time, I can not help but cherish my husband and my healthy 3 year old even more. I am lucky to have them. I just have to trust God with my life and the life of any future children.
We are also so grateful for the outpouring of encouragement, prayers, and support from so many of you. Though we do not have family in the area, we do feel like we indeed have family here in our friends. You all are such a blessing to us. I thank God for you all! My mom is going to fly out tomorrow morning and so she will be here for a week- a wonderful support and an excellent distraction for Mattie.
Much love to you all. Again, we cherish our friendship with you all. Having your love and friendship and support will be a big part of making it through this tough time.
Love,
Val, Bob, and Mattie Brown
Friday, November 12, 2010
Listening for a heartbeat
Because Thursday was a holiday (MLK day) I had to wait until Friday to go into Dr. Rosenburg's to listen for a heartbeat. It was my idea and initiative that got my into his office to listen for the heartbeat. Dr. Rosenburg did not think that it would be necessary. I think he assumed that the baby would still be alive. However, with trisomy 18, the baby could die at any point. And being the "lay all your cards on the table" kind of person, I wanted to go ahead and rule that in or out. If the baby was indeed dead, then my appointment at Obstetrix for Monday would take on a completely different focus. Thursday night (early Friday morning 2am) I woke up and I grieved. I sobbed. The thought that my baby was gone was heavy on my heart. Bob tried to comfort and encourage me. I was so so sad. I was not as optimistic. We had met with Steve and Wanda Belton earlier Thursday night. Steve was so great to invite us over to talk things through but he did not paint a rosy picture. He presented the facts and the statistics just how they are. I left with a more realistic and less optimistic picture. (A side note 3 months into the future... Feb 2011: I am so glad to have grieved then. It really was the only time up until now that I grieved with a deep sobbing grief. It was a gift from God, I think. He allowed me to grieve before I knew anything.) I didn't want to lose the baby... but I had a sinking feeling in my heart. All night my heart seemed to be pounding in my belly. It was weird. I had been feeling my heart pounding harder in my belly all week. It was not the first time I had noticed it. I had been trying to feel for a baby kick- but every night I kept feeling my heart beating in my belly instead. It was omninous to me. It didn't feel right. I couldn't put my finger on it.
I decided to go the doctor's appointment by myself. I guess I was still optimistic enough or maybe I believed that if I remained optimistic things would be OK. Bob had taken other time off recently and I didn't want to make him take more time off from work. I had emailed my mom that morning, however. I basically said, "If I find out the baby's dead, will you come down for a few days?" So I wanted my bases covered. I was optimistic, but I couldn't help but start preparing myself for the possible devastating news.
I get to the doctor's office. There is a really young, nice, cute gal that is one of the front office ladies that check you in. She knows I had been seeing Dr. Trobough for infertility stuff for a while and was so excited that I had "graduated" over to Dr. Rosenburg. So she says to me, "Guess what? My due date is one day different than yours." "Oh, that's cool!" I say, trying desperately to keep my cool! She asks, "Are you going to find out the gender?" I respond, "Yah, we want to." But meanwhile thinking to myself, I may be about to find out my baby is dead. I am barely keeping it together at this moment. I hold it together to get my print out think to take the doctor. I walk back to the office and hand the nurse my paper. She asks me to sit down for a minute and she'll be right with me. I'm not doing too well. I'm going to lose it so I go into the bathroom and sob as quietly as I can and try to pull myself together enough just to get back to the examination room. The nurse takes me back there and I lose it. I tell her about the sweet but clueless girl up front and I tell her that I just don't want to lose my baby. I all but collapse onto my knees in deep sobs. I couldn't hold it back any longer. I finally get myself together a bit and Dr. Rosenburg comes in. He has the heartbeat monitor. In the past he has found the baby's heartbeat with in 1 second of putting it on my stomach. So when he put it on my stomach, you could clearly hear a heartbeat... but it was mine. He moved that thing around my stomach... nothing. I knew it then. I started to sob. I asked me to try to calm down so that he could continue searching. He tried so hard- he pushed down and tried all sorts of angles. But I knew... that baby was gone. So then I wanted to get an ultrasound. So he walked me to another room. I wasn't sure if I could look... but I couldn't NOT look. There was my sweet little baby- all curled up in fetal position. It was gone. The image is clear as day in my brain. I sob again. Oh Lord! Why?!? Dr. Rosenburg takes me back to his office. It is there I have to make the call to Bob and then to my mom. Then I had to call Christa who was taking care of Mattie at the time. It was like after that, the wound in my heart scabbed up and I went into task mode. I couldn't cry any more tears. Dr. Rosenburg got me an appointment for Obstetrix in the next hour. We had to act fast. We ended up dividing and conquering. I drove to Christa's house to pick up Mattie so I could then take her to the Bozarth's house. Sarah would take Mattie for as long as we needed. (Praise the Lord! We have such supportive friends!) Meanwhile, Bob was going to pick up something for us to eat in the car on the way to Obstetrix. We met up at the Bozarths and then drove to Obstetrix together. There we had an appointment with a genetic(?) counselor- doctor- who would help us look at our options. I also was going to get an amniocentesis that day and an ultrasound. We decided to get a D & E rather than having to try to birth the baby. I went in for my ultrasound and amnio. The tech came in to do the ultrasound. I asked her to show me as many parts of the baby as possible. This was my last time to see my baby ever again this side of heaven. I wanted to take it in. She said that the baby was measuring only 15 weeks and that it was already breaking down so it must have been dead at least a week. She could not see the gender of the baby at that point. Then the doctor came in and did the amnio. I found out later from Steve that that doctor was a Christian. After all of that was done, we called Sarah. She told us that she would gladly take Mattie as late as we wanted or needed- the she could even spend the night. What a dear dear friend! We decided that having her spend the night wouldn't be a good idea (Mattie wouldn't do well) but that we really would enjoy being able to come home and rest and then get some dinner by ourselves. So that is what we did. We came home, I wrote that email, and then we went to Dish Dash for dinner. We picked Mattie up at 7Pm and came home and put her to bed at 8PM. My mom will be arriving the next morning.
I decided to go the doctor's appointment by myself. I guess I was still optimistic enough or maybe I believed that if I remained optimistic things would be OK. Bob had taken other time off recently and I didn't want to make him take more time off from work. I had emailed my mom that morning, however. I basically said, "If I find out the baby's dead, will you come down for a few days?" So I wanted my bases covered. I was optimistic, but I couldn't help but start preparing myself for the possible devastating news.
I get to the doctor's office. There is a really young, nice, cute gal that is one of the front office ladies that check you in. She knows I had been seeing Dr. Trobough for infertility stuff for a while and was so excited that I had "graduated" over to Dr. Rosenburg. So she says to me, "Guess what? My due date is one day different than yours." "Oh, that's cool!" I say, trying desperately to keep my cool! She asks, "Are you going to find out the gender?" I respond, "Yah, we want to." But meanwhile thinking to myself, I may be about to find out my baby is dead. I am barely keeping it together at this moment. I hold it together to get my print out think to take the doctor. I walk back to the office and hand the nurse my paper. She asks me to sit down for a minute and she'll be right with me. I'm not doing too well. I'm going to lose it so I go into the bathroom and sob as quietly as I can and try to pull myself together enough just to get back to the examination room. The nurse takes me back there and I lose it. I tell her about the sweet but clueless girl up front and I tell her that I just don't want to lose my baby. I all but collapse onto my knees in deep sobs. I couldn't hold it back any longer. I finally get myself together a bit and Dr. Rosenburg comes in. He has the heartbeat monitor. In the past he has found the baby's heartbeat with in 1 second of putting it on my stomach. So when he put it on my stomach, you could clearly hear a heartbeat... but it was mine. He moved that thing around my stomach... nothing. I knew it then. I started to sob. I asked me to try to calm down so that he could continue searching. He tried so hard- he pushed down and tried all sorts of angles. But I knew... that baby was gone. So then I wanted to get an ultrasound. So he walked me to another room. I wasn't sure if I could look... but I couldn't NOT look. There was my sweet little baby- all curled up in fetal position. It was gone. The image is clear as day in my brain. I sob again. Oh Lord! Why?!? Dr. Rosenburg takes me back to his office. It is there I have to make the call to Bob and then to my mom. Then I had to call Christa who was taking care of Mattie at the time. It was like after that, the wound in my heart scabbed up and I went into task mode. I couldn't cry any more tears. Dr. Rosenburg got me an appointment for Obstetrix in the next hour. We had to act fast. We ended up dividing and conquering. I drove to Christa's house to pick up Mattie so I could then take her to the Bozarth's house. Sarah would take Mattie for as long as we needed. (Praise the Lord! We have such supportive friends!) Meanwhile, Bob was going to pick up something for us to eat in the car on the way to Obstetrix. We met up at the Bozarths and then drove to Obstetrix together. There we had an appointment with a genetic(?) counselor- doctor- who would help us look at our options. I also was going to get an amniocentesis that day and an ultrasound. We decided to get a D & E rather than having to try to birth the baby. I went in for my ultrasound and amnio. The tech came in to do the ultrasound. I asked her to show me as many parts of the baby as possible. This was my last time to see my baby ever again this side of heaven. I wanted to take it in. She said that the baby was measuring only 15 weeks and that it was already breaking down so it must have been dead at least a week. She could not see the gender of the baby at that point. Then the doctor came in and did the amnio. I found out later from Steve that that doctor was a Christian. After all of that was done, we called Sarah. She told us that she would gladly take Mattie as late as we wanted or needed- the she could even spend the night. What a dear dear friend! We decided that having her spend the night wouldn't be a good idea (Mattie wouldn't do well) but that we really would enjoy being able to come home and rest and then get some dinner by ourselves. So that is what we did. We came home, I wrote that email, and then we went to Dish Dash for dinner. We picked Mattie up at 7Pm and came home and put her to bed at 8PM. My mom will be arriving the next morning.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Optimistic... mostly
Thursday, November 11th:
Needless to say, I did not get a very good night’s sleep that night. But it was going to be a busy packed schedule of a day and that was fine with me. I woke up, however, feeling very optimistic that my baby was going to be in the two-thirds majority and everything was going to be ok. Those tests always just freak people out and then end up being false, right? At least that is what I was telling myself. I dropped Mattie off at her preschool at 9:00am and then drove over to Red Rock to meet John Riemenschnitter for coffee and a chat. John and I typically get together 1-2 times a year and grab a cup of coffee and catch up on life. He was my 20’s pastor for many years and helped marry Bob and me. He has continued to be a good friend. I had not met up with him for over a year or maybe two! It just “so happened” that we had scheduled this coffee date two weeks prior and it “happened” to fall the day after I got the news about the test results. God is very purposeful that way. He has “walked” many a path with me in life. John sees me and asks, “How’s it going?” “…Well…not so great.” I answer with hesitation; “We just got some bad news about my pregnancy. I’ll explain it all in a few minutes.” “Let’s grab coffee and head up to my office,” he replies. “Yes, that would be great. Thank you.” We grabbed coffee and then headed up. I shared with him the situation with my pregnancy. We talked about it for a bit and then moved on to discussing my little munchkin, Mattie, who has been quite testy the past month or so. It was like there were too many unknowns for me to be upset at the time. I was still in shock about it all and trying to be optimistic. It was great talking to him. He had many insights for me in regards to raising a firecracker 3 year old. He has 4 kids- the youngest in 1st grade- he’s got plenty of wisdom to share.
Not completed...
Needless to say, I did not get a very good night’s sleep that night. But it was going to be a busy packed schedule of a day and that was fine with me. I woke up, however, feeling very optimistic that my baby was going to be in the two-thirds majority and everything was going to be ok. Those tests always just freak people out and then end up being false, right? At least that is what I was telling myself. I dropped Mattie off at her preschool at 9:00am and then drove over to Red Rock to meet John Riemenschnitter for coffee and a chat. John and I typically get together 1-2 times a year and grab a cup of coffee and catch up on life. He was my 20’s pastor for many years and helped marry Bob and me. He has continued to be a good friend. I had not met up with him for over a year or maybe two! It just “so happened” that we had scheduled this coffee date two weeks prior and it “happened” to fall the day after I got the news about the test results. God is very purposeful that way. He has “walked” many a path with me in life. John sees me and asks, “How’s it going?” “…Well…not so great.” I answer with hesitation; “We just got some bad news about my pregnancy. I’ll explain it all in a few minutes.” “Let’s grab coffee and head up to my office,” he replies. “Yes, that would be great. Thank you.” We grabbed coffee and then headed up. I shared with him the situation with my pregnancy. We talked about it for a bit and then moved on to discussing my little munchkin, Mattie, who has been quite testy the past month or so. It was like there were too many unknowns for me to be upset at the time. I was still in shock about it all and trying to be optimistic. It was great talking to him. He had many insights for me in regards to raising a firecracker 3 year old. He has 4 kids- the youngest in 1st grade- he’s got plenty of wisdom to share.
Not completed...
Email #1 sent out: 11/10 Bob's birthday
Dear friends,
Please forgive the mass email (and hopefully I didn't forget anyone.) I just want as much prayer as possible.
I just got a call today from my doctor that a blood test I took last week came back with a potential abnormality: Trisomy 18 and open neural tube defect (NTD). Basically, there is a 1 and 3 chance that this test for the trisomy 18 is true (for lack of a better word at the moment.) Basically, if the test is accurate, it means that there is no chance for my baby to survive and it will probably die before the due date.
I will be going in for more testing next Monday and I will probably also have to make the decision whether or not to get an amniocentesis (if I get that, there is a 1 in 1,000 chance of miscarriage but there is a 100% accuracy of testing all chromosomal issues.) I may also go into the doctor on Friday just to see if the baby is even alive now- that's just for me and my peace of mind.
How am I doing? Well, I am in shock. I don't understand how God would let me go through 2 years of infertility, finally get pregnant, and then this...but He is BIG, He is sovereign. I have not broken down yet...(that's a big YET)... maybe because I am hopeful that this is all for not and that everything is really ok. It's like I just can't think about it. I going to want to keep myself very busy for the next 4 days. To top it all off, it is Bob's birthday, poor guy. What great news to get on your birthday.
Anyway, all prayers would be appreciated.
Thank you,
Val, Bob, Mattie, and baby Brown
Please forgive the mass email (and hopefully I didn't forget anyone.) I just want as much prayer as possible.
I just got a call today from my doctor that a blood test I took last week came back with a potential abnormality: Trisomy 18 and open neural tube defect (NTD). Basically, there is a 1 and 3 chance that this test for the trisomy 18 is true (for lack of a better word at the moment.) Basically, if the test is accurate, it means that there is no chance for my baby to survive and it will probably die before the due date.
I will be going in for more testing next Monday and I will probably also have to make the decision whether or not to get an amniocentesis (if I get that, there is a 1 in 1,000 chance of miscarriage but there is a 100% accuracy of testing all chromosomal issues.) I may also go into the doctor on Friday just to see if the baby is even alive now- that's just for me and my peace of mind.
How am I doing? Well, I am in shock. I don't understand how God would let me go through 2 years of infertility, finally get pregnant, and then this...but He is BIG, He is sovereign. I have not broken down yet...(that's a big YET)... maybe because I am hopeful that this is all for not and that everything is really ok. It's like I just can't think about it. I going to want to keep myself very busy for the next 4 days. To top it all off, it is Bob's birthday, poor guy. What great news to get on your birthday.
Anyway, all prayers would be appreciated.
Thank you,
Val, Bob, Mattie, and baby Brown
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
The call from the doctor... Bob's birthday
Wednesday, November 10th:
It was Bob’s 36th birthday… one he or I will never forget. Mattie and I were at the mall hanging out with my friend Christa and her kids Josh and baby Matthew. It had been a good day. The kids played, we had lunch at Pizza My Heart, and then we were at Pottery Barn Kids letting the kids run around. It was there we ran into my friend Carol and her two daughters, Emma Kate and Hannah. Christa had to go due to Josh needing a nap. I was about to head out myself when Mattie all of a sudden pooped her pants. Fortunately, PBK has a bathroom right in the store and I had a change of clothes with me. Mattie and I were in the bathroom when I got a call from my OBGyn, Dr. Rosenberg. He asked if I had a minute… well, when one’s doctor asks if you have a minute the answer is always, “YES!” He proceeded to tell me that the test results had come back from last week’s blood test. My bloodwork indicated that my baby might have a chromosomal defect called trisomy 18. Basically, with the levels of hormones and such in the bloodwork along with my age, there was a 1 in 3 chance that my baby had this issue. I had never heard of trisomy 18. “Was it a risk of downs?” I asked. He explained that this was not Down’s but a chromosomal abnormality that was not compatible with life. My mind was reeling… What?!?... Is this a joke?... I was in total shock. I started asking the doctor lots of questions- I can’t even remember what they are. But I did not cry- it was like I went into task and coping mode. Here I was at the mall with my daughter in the bathroom holding a pair of poopy underwear. Talk about a metaphor. I hung up with the doctor. I had to get Mattie put back together, call Bob, and then call the Obstetrix place (high risk pregnancy specialists) to see if I could move up my appointment that was scheduled for next week. We left Pottery Barn in a daze and my next task was to find a place Mattie could run around that was not too loud so I cold call Bob. We wandered back to Pizza My Heart. There was a hallway just outside the store that had tables and chairs. Just as we got there, the phone rang- it was Carol. She had noticed that Mattie and I were in the bathroom for a very very long time and just wanted to see if everything was OK. Bless her heart! God always provides just when you need it! I told her, “Well, no…” and then I proceeded to explain the news I just got from my doctor. Well, she was at the Disney store with her girls and said that I could bring Mattie down there and she would watch her and her girls so I could make any necessary phone calls. What a gift! That is what I did. I was able to call Bob and explain to him what I could remember from what the doctor had told me (things were such a blur!) Then I was able to call Obstetrix. Because of the Veteran’s Day holiday, the soonest I could make my appointment was a day earlier, on Monday, but I took it! We hung out at the Disney store for a little bit then I ran to one other store and we headed home. I had tutoring that afternoon and decided it would be a good distraction for me. It wasn’t long after getting home from tutoring that Bob came home and then we picked up the babysitter and went out for Bob’s not-so-celebratory birthday dinner. It was nice to be able to take a deep breath and talk things over.
It was Bob’s 36th birthday… one he or I will never forget. Mattie and I were at the mall hanging out with my friend Christa and her kids Josh and baby Matthew. It had been a good day. The kids played, we had lunch at Pizza My Heart, and then we were at Pottery Barn Kids letting the kids run around. It was there we ran into my friend Carol and her two daughters, Emma Kate and Hannah. Christa had to go due to Josh needing a nap. I was about to head out myself when Mattie all of a sudden pooped her pants. Fortunately, PBK has a bathroom right in the store and I had a change of clothes with me. Mattie and I were in the bathroom when I got a call from my OBGyn, Dr. Rosenberg. He asked if I had a minute… well, when one’s doctor asks if you have a minute the answer is always, “YES!” He proceeded to tell me that the test results had come back from last week’s blood test. My bloodwork indicated that my baby might have a chromosomal defect called trisomy 18. Basically, with the levels of hormones and such in the bloodwork along with my age, there was a 1 in 3 chance that my baby had this issue. I had never heard of trisomy 18. “Was it a risk of downs?” I asked. He explained that this was not Down’s but a chromosomal abnormality that was not compatible with life. My mind was reeling… What?!?... Is this a joke?... I was in total shock. I started asking the doctor lots of questions- I can’t even remember what they are. But I did not cry- it was like I went into task and coping mode. Here I was at the mall with my daughter in the bathroom holding a pair of poopy underwear. Talk about a metaphor. I hung up with the doctor. I had to get Mattie put back together, call Bob, and then call the Obstetrix place (high risk pregnancy specialists) to see if I could move up my appointment that was scheduled for next week. We left Pottery Barn in a daze and my next task was to find a place Mattie could run around that was not too loud so I cold call Bob. We wandered back to Pizza My Heart. There was a hallway just outside the store that had tables and chairs. Just as we got there, the phone rang- it was Carol. She had noticed that Mattie and I were in the bathroom for a very very long time and just wanted to see if everything was OK. Bless her heart! God always provides just when you need it! I told her, “Well, no…” and then I proceeded to explain the news I just got from my doctor. Well, she was at the Disney store with her girls and said that I could bring Mattie down there and she would watch her and her girls so I could make any necessary phone calls. What a gift! That is what I did. I was able to call Bob and explain to him what I could remember from what the doctor had told me (things were such a blur!) Then I was able to call Obstetrix. Because of the Veteran’s Day holiday, the soonest I could make my appointment was a day earlier, on Monday, but I took it! We hung out at the Disney store for a little bit then I ran to one other store and we headed home. I had tutoring that afternoon and decided it would be a good distraction for me. It wasn’t long after getting home from tutoring that Bob came home and then we picked up the babysitter and went out for Bob’s not-so-celebratory birthday dinner. It was nice to be able to take a deep breath and talk things over.
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